I just celebrated my 10 year wedding anniversary! (Wahoo!) A lot of personal growth has come from being married. 10 years has flown by in almost a blink of an eye.
This post has been on my heart for some time. I’ve had opportunities of sharing some of these lessons with those close to me and I’ve realized there could be more people out there that could apply some of these simple concepts to bring happiness to their marriage. I’m in hopes that my lessons can inspire you and bring a closeness in your marriage too, if not to you personally, maybe to someone you know. Right under this post, there are cute little share buttons that you can select and share through Facebook or Pinterest, etc. Please share with those you know.
Here are 10 things marriage has taught me.
10 Marriage Tips:
1. Talk, talk, talk
Communication is important, How you communicate is Key. Create good habits to understand one another. Respect and appreciate where the other person is coming from.
Confide in each other. Kindness matters.
2. Don’t sweat the small the stuff… (and it is ALL small stuff.)
I’d like to thank my dad for his often example of reminding me of this concept. In my marriage, at times everything seemed to be a big deal. And I often, allowed those little quirks to get in the way of fully loving my hubby for who he is. Silly right? I know! Letting him be himself has truly saved my marriage. And somewhere in my heart, I truly thought I needed to change him, when in fact, I love him for just who he is and who he is striving to become.
3. Remember When…
Taking time to reflect together on our fun times and achievements we’ve shared. We’ve taken simple trips together that we love to talk about. We also have encouraged each other in simple goals and we like to reflect on how hard they were, and being excited of the end results. We like to see how far we’ve come and how enjoyable the journey has been. We create memories every day together and it just so seems that memories sometimes pass quickly like the time does. We realize how talking about our past times really is one of our favorite past times.
4. Love with a complete open heart.
It is easy to build a little wall around your tender heart. You want your heart to be protected of any hurt. I recently learned from some amazing mentors, that the only way to get through those tough times is to fully Love without those walls. Once you do that, something magical happens!
I read once, that Love isn’t an emotion, its a verb… An action. Find unique ways to show love to each other. We like to find ways to surprise each other! And this has created a hiccup only once. In efforts of both of us trying to secretively plan a surprise Valentines Day for the other, we found ourselves chasing each other around before we were able to spend the evening together. Most memorable Valentines yet! Saying I love you is a little more meaningful by how you show it and not just say it.
Here’s a cute site with fun and inexpensive ways to uniquely express your love!
6. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.
Water YOUR Lawn! I can’t help but Laugh Out Loud and appreciate this little video, check it out!
7. Different is Good.
Our differences are sometimes really different and when two people try to bring together one balanced lifestyle and home, this can be very tricky. I am a product of how I was raised and guess what? So is he! Learning to appreciate why we grew up in the circumstances, place and timing of our lives has helped us love each other, for exactly who we are. Our tender spots, our weaknesses, our stregnths, and our talents all play a part in our differences. These are perfect reminders for us to be a little more selfless, forgiving and understanding. I realize that those differences are helping us both grow personally. We are examples to each other. Now we get to take the best of both worlds by continuing to support each other in our differences and build together something even more awesome, our family.
8. Understand unity.
Unity means coming together for a common good. Or bringing all parts together. This has been so confusing to me over the years, because there were many times we haven’t seen eye to eye nor been on the same page. Uniting a marriage with differences is tough! I had my ideas, he had his ideas. (men are from mars, women are from venus… right?) What I was missing during all of this, was simply that we were working towards the same goal, just in our own ways. I’ve learned that we both play a valid part in our marriage and bringing our differences together to create a united marriage. All it took was realizing that we were both committed to being happy. And now we can compliment each other with a more powerful, effective force for good. And that’s what I like to call synergy people! Working together, just like your keyboard and mouse. They make more sense working together instead of individually. Work together. Play together.
9. Take time for you.
I’ve learned, the best value we can contribute to that unity is by enjoying and loving our own life. By finding our own talents and enjoying our own interests. Alone time is good and so is personal reflection. Learn and enjoy being the very best you. Like they say, “A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” -Anne Taylor Fleming. I came across this helpful article over at familyshare.com that I think will help me really focus in on this challenge. Some Guilt-Free ‘Me time’ is healthy.
10. Love being married.
Life is so much more enjoyable with someone by my side, to laugh and learn with. It’s one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever signed up for. And yet, so much Fun! And just when I think I have this marriage business all figured out… I’ll be learning something new. And through those new lessons, I’ll be falling in love over and over again.
Were these tips applicable to your marriage? Or is there a tip you’d like to add to my list? I’d be grateful for your feedback in the comments. We look forward to inspiring many.